What Are Your "No Matter Whats"?

This Website Has Moved

You will be automatically redirected to the new address. If that does not occur, visit
and update your bookmarks.

By: Kristen Sigmon

Have you ever made a list of qualities you want in a husband? I have. In fact, I’ve made nearly ten lists over the last ten years. I got so wrapped up in list-making that at one point my list included 75 characteristics!! This included “wants two to three kids” and “likes moonlit walks on the beach.” I tried to cover every possible thing you could think of. Seriously. There is absolutely NO man that fits every one of the characteristics that were on my list. Only Jesus!

All these lists I made of what I wanted my “perfect” guy to be like, but these things weren’t essentials, or things I couldn’t live without.

A few years ago, a friend challenged me to make a “no matter what” list – a list of all the things I couldn’t live without in a husband. Writing out a “no matter what” list is a way to say, no matter what, I will only consider dating/marrying someone who meets the following qualifications because this is what I need and I believe this is God’s best for me.

I took my friend’s advice and here’s my list:

No matter what, I will only marry a man who…

  • Loves God first and passionately and is devoted to Him in all of his life

  • Is dependable and trustworthy

  • Is a spiritual leader and encourages me to be the best I can be for God

  • Respects and loves me as God desires

  • Respects and honors all women as his sisters in Christ

  • Has a passion for God, life, family, and loving others

  • Has a servant’s heart

  • Is financially, spiritually, and relationally wise

  • Has a godly attitude, a good personality and sense of humor

  • Does not engage in any illegal or immoral activity

  • Loves to laugh and is joyful

Today at 28, I’m patiently waiting for the guy God has for me. This man isn’t perfect like Jesus. In fact, he is far from it. But he is a man seeking to be more like Him every day. He’s also one who challenges and encourages me to be more like Him.

God knows our needs and He will provide for our needs, including a husband. God also wants to give us our heart’s desires that line up with His desires for us.

A “no matter what” list helps to evaluate what your needs and desires are in a husband and to remind yourself of these things every time you consider a relationship with a guy. Having a list can help keep you from settling for anything less than God’s best.

How to make your “No matter what” list:

  • Pray for God to show you what you need in a husband and what’s necessary for a successful marriage.

  • Make your list.

  • Pray over your list and ask God to show you if there’s anything on it that’s not an essential.

  • Share your list with a few mature Christians, maybe even some married adults whose marriages you admire. Get their input and insight.

  • Pray that God would prepare you and your future husband for each other and that He’d help you each not to settle for anything less than His best.

  • Revise your list as necessary. Your list will change as you change and gain more insight about yourself and relationships.

On Thursday, Sarah will share how you can be preparing yourself for your future husband. Come back to read what she has to say!

I’d love to hear more from you so feel free to leave a comment and share your thoughts with me.


Labels: , ,


Anonymous Elin said...

I also made a list about what I want in a husband before I read your post.But After I read your post I reviewed my list and I agree most of the stuff on my list won't be in all of my boyfriends. I am going to make my "no matter what" list. Thanks for the advice.

Anonymous Kristen said...

I'm glad this was helpful Elin! I am so thankful for my friend who challenged me to rethink my original list. I pray that God would send you the man who's just for you!

Post a Comment