"Looking for Love"

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By: Charlotte Cole

Deuteronomy 6:5, “Love GOD, your God, with your whole heart: love him with all that's in you, love him with all you've got!” (The Message)

Ever since I can remember, I was boy crazy. I wanted a boyfriend more than anything. I wanted to be in love with someone who loved me. I had a million dreams and fantasies about love; I sang songs about romance, wishing more than anything that it could be mine. My cousin on the other hand, was seeking a love relationship with Jesus. She dedicated herself to being connected with Him, singing songs about Him and spending her time with Him. I went out and sought boys; she sought Christ.

Who do you think was more satisfied? Who do you think had more joy?

My cousin’s relationship with Jesus is still vibrant now. It is based on truth, not appearances. Jesus sees her get ugly in her actions and in her thoughts. He sees her weaknesses and strengths, but His love for her never changes. There is no jealousy or drama in their relationship. If she strays from Him and later realizes her mistake, He is always there to take her back and forgive her.

As my cousin has pursued Jesus, she has grown in the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). Though He has given her the gift of a husband to enjoy here on earth, Jesus is still her first love.

My fun and emotional escapades with boys, on the other hand, always left my heart aching and my self-esteem deflated. The more time my cousin spent with Jesus, the more beautiful and godly she became from the inside out. The more I chased boys, however, focusing on my appearance and superficial personality traits, the less appealing I became. My low self-esteem was evident and unattractive. I didn’t have confidence in who I was in Christ, so I focused on who I was to everyone else.

The time and energy I spent pursuing boys and being rejected by them tore me apart. I thought that if only I were thinner or had a better complexion or whatever, all my needs would be met. I was so far off track. My needs were never met until I began to pursue Jesus. Pursuing Him not only fills our needs but makes us beautiful from the inside out because in Him we find the greatest love of all – a love that shows us how beautiful we are to Him. God says, “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness” (Jeremiah 31:3, NIV). Thankfully, Jesus’ love is everlasting. We cannot lose it; no matter how bad we blow it, it is constant.

The temptations in life are unbelievable. It’s fun to grow up and hard to wait for God’s timing to experience life, particularly the love and intimacy of a marriage relationship. But think of this: Your married years will far outlast your teen years. They will be unbelievably sweeter if you can pour the affection God is building up in you into a relationship with Christ, rather than into relationships with boys. When the time is right, He will reveal the man He has chosen for you if you are to be married, and you’ll experience the love and intimacy that comes as part of God’s design for marriage. In the meantime, focus your affection on Jesus and saturate yourself in His everlasting, unconditional love for you! Make it your goal to love Him with all your heart and with all you’ve got, and He will satisfy you and fulfill your heart’s desires in His perfect time.


Dear God, Help me to place my desire for a relationship on You. Help me to understand that only You will fill my void; only You will love me the way I want to be loved. Help me not to be tempted to satisfy the desires I have with people You have not designed for me. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Related Resources:

Eyes Wide Open: Avoiding the Heartbreak of Emotional Promiscuity by Brienne Murk

Think About It:

What are the deepest desires of your heart?

Are you loving God with everything you’ve got?

Live It:

Make a list of specific things you can do to make your relationship with Jesus better.

Here’s one place to begin: Spend time in the Bible, letting Him adore you with the love letter of His Word that He wrote just for you.

Power Verses:

Psalm 37:4, “Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.” (NIV)

© 2008, 2010 by Charlotte Cole. All rights reserved.


Tell Us About It:

What people or things have helped you to wait for the guy God has for you?

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Anonymous K.N. said...

Well what has helped me is knowing that being in a relationship with a guy is not what God has planned for me. I mean, God might have a guy in store for me for the future, but now is not the time to concern myself by thinking about it. Even when all the people around me are hooking up with boyfriends, I take comfort in God's Big Hug, not a guy's.

Anonymous Kristen said...

That's great K.N.! It's nice to know you don't have to concern yourself with a guy right now, so you can focus your attention more fully on God and other people and things right now. It kind of goes back to what Paul said about learning to be content in the circumstances we're in right now (Philippians 4:11-13), and also learning to rest in God's love (Deuteronomy 33:12).

Anonymous Jessica said...

What should I do if I really like a boy,think he likes me back,but am only 13,and not yet old enough to date? This is the first time in my life I've ever felt this way about anybody(I've liked 2 boys before,but that's it.),and I'm really confused and overwhelmed. Mom says I should just be his friend for now,and I try,but that's kinda hard when I like him so much,and think he likes me back. I'm not thinking about anything serious or anything,but I do really like him.Any advice?

Anonymous Jessica said...

An afterthought-boys are SO complicated!!!!!!!

Blogger Lynn Cowell said...

Boys are complicated! What is even more complicated is our hearts!

The thing to think about is every time you get emotionally attached to a guy, you give away a little bit of your heart. If you start giving away a little bit at a time starting at 13, how much will you have left when you get married?

Better hang on tight!

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