A Little Humor...

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Yesterday, Kristen talked about our need to rest and live a life with no regrets. Part of this is taking the time to laugh…so in an effort to stir up some humor, we’re including some humorous and silly jokes and stories below, some of which you may have already heard.


If you know some funny [clean] jokes or stories, leave a comment and share them with us! :)


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The Helper

A pastor is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach.

After watching the boy’s efforts for some time, the pastor moves closer to the boy's position. He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a solid ring.

Crouching down to the child's level, the pastor smiles benevolently and asks, "And now what, my little man?" To which the boy replies, "Now we run!"

Church Bulletin Bloopers


The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.



The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water."
The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."


Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.


Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.


The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.


Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.


The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.


Chapstick



There was a duck that went to a local store to buy chapstick, the clerk asked if he would pay cash and the duck said, no, just put it on my bill.


Lord’s Prayer


From a 3-year-old:
"Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Harold is His name.
Amen."


Praise the Lord


A preacher trained his horse to go when he said, "Praise the Lord," and to stop when he said, "Amen." The preacher mounted the horse, said, "Praise the Lord" and went for a ride.


When he wanted to stop for lunch, he said, "Amen."


He took off again, saying, "Praise the Lord."


The horse started going toward the edge of the cliff. The preacher got excited and said, "Whoa!" Then he remembered and said, "Amen," so the horse stopped at the edge. The preacher was so relieved that he looked up to heaven and said, "Praise the Lord!"


Lesson in Lying


A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17."


The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."


Where is God


Two brothers are terrible trouble makers. They are always breaking things, stealing things, lying, and making all kinds of general trouble. The parents have tried everything to get the boys to change, to no avail. Finally, out of options, they ask their pastor if he can help. He says he will talk to the boys, but only one at a time. The parents drop off the youngest and go home, promising to return to get him soon. The boy sits in a chair across from the pastor's desk and they just look at each other.


Finally, the Pastor says, "Where is God?"


The boy just sits there and doesn't answer.


The pastor begins to look stern and loudly says, "Where is God?"


The little boy shifts in his seat, but still doesn't answer.


The pastor is starting to get angry at the boy's refusal to converse and practically shouts "Where is God?"


To the pastor's surprise, the little boy jumps up out of his chair and runs out of the office.


The boy leaves the church and runs all the way home, up the stairs and into his brother's room. He shuts the door and pants, "We're in BIG TROUBLE. God's missing and they think we did it!"





3 Comments:

Blogger Rachelle (Rose) said...

The last is definitely my favorite!

I love these!

Anonymous Jessica said...

LOL! those are hillarious!

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