By: Kristen Sigmon
I've had a hard time praying lately. What's interesting, though, is that even though I haven't been able to verbally express my prayers to God, I have found myself worshiping Him.
I’ve been spending more time on my face in silence with Him. I’ve also been worshiping Him in another way – through music. I love to play the piano. I grew up learning to play from sheet music but never learned how to play by ear. God recently, however, has given me the ability to play by ear, to just sit down at the piano and play a worship song to Him. Not only this, but I’ve also been worshiping Him by listening to Christian songs. Even though I don’t have the words to pray, those songs express what’s on my heart and I find myself praying the lyrics silently to God.
The Bible says that when we don’t know what to pray, the Holy Spirit intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words (Romans 8:26-27). He prays for us when we can’t. The Bible also says that Jesus sits at the right hand of the Father and intercedes for us (Hebrews 7:24-25, 8:1-2). That’s such a comfort.
God knows where we’re at. He knows our struggles. Also, He is always with us, even though we can’t always feel Him there.
It’s a good practice for us to ask God to search our hearts and show us any areas of sin that we need to confess and turn from. If we’ve done that and still don’t feel His presence, we might just be in a “dark night of the soul” (St. John of the Cross), a place of loneliness and desolation. As my pastor put it recently, sometimes God backs away from us a bit so our faith has a chance to grow. Think about it. “Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen” (Hebrews 11:1).
As for me, in times when I can’t feel God’s presence and prayer is extremely difficult, I will choose to worship. I will remind myself that where I’m at is okay and nothing’s wrong with me. I will remind myself of God’s promises, and I will praise my Promise Keeper God.
When we can truly worship God in the darkest night and despite how our feelings and our enemy scream at us that it’s our fault we don’t feel God, that’s pure worship – to a God who deserves ALL our worship no matter what our circumstances.
I worship You, God.
“Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.”
-1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
© 2010 by Kristen Sigmon. All rights reserved.
Kristen Sigmon loves working in full time ministry, nature walks, memorizing Bible verses, and homemade chocolate chip cookies. Her favorite Bible verse is Ephesians 3:20-21; it reminds her that God is able to do more in and through us than we could ever ask or imagine. She lives in the suburbs of Charlotte, NC with her mom and two dogs.