Who Are You Dancing For? confessions from a former approval addict

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In a busy, noisy world, a little girl walks onto a dark stage and begins to perform.

Those words fell from my pen when I was a nineteen year old college student feeling like a fraud. Everything I did felt like a performance to win the approval of other people. Anybody I met was a suitable audience. It was exhausting and I was tired of dancing my way through life trying to earn the applause of other people.

Have you ever felt like that? You’re striving to make good grades to make your parents happy. Then you head off to sports practice or some extracurricular activity and find someone else to please. Add in your friends, a cute guy and that mean girl in your math class and you find yourself quickly dancing around trying to make everyone love you.

You find yourself watching movies you wouldn’t normally watch, saying a word your parents would never let you say, and showing a little extra skin all because that’s what it takes to fit in. At church you’re one person, but when you go to school someone completely different answers to your name during roll call.

I get it. Really, I do. When I was thirteen I was a master at being a church girl on Sunday and a fun girl the rest of the week. It had never dawned on me that I could be both at the same time. Even after I fully committed my life to Christ at fourteen, I still found myself trying to convince people to like me. The problem was, even my best efforts always seemed to fail. No matter what I did, people always wanted me to doing something else—something more—to stay in their good graces.

In college I bought a pair of faux snakeskin pants because my friend Katie thought they were the hottest thing she’d ever seen. I never wore them. They hung in my closet my entire freshman year as a reminder that I spent a lot of time posing as someone I wasn’t.

It was around that time that I began to realize that life isn’t about performing for the crowd. Instead, it’s about dancing for the Audience of One. God made me. He loves me. He has amazing plans for my life. His ultimate goal was relationship with me.

Recognizing that took a lot of pressure off. God doesn’t want something from me. He just wants me. I don’t have to perform for Him. Instead, I can be myself.

The same is true for you. Your life will always be filled with crowds of people wanting you to earn their approval and applause. A temptation to earn love will always beckon. But you don’t have to fall into old patterns and routines.

You can choose to dance for the Audience of One. Focus on living a life that pleases the Lord. Make a relationship with Him a priority. As you do so the jeers of the crowd will fade into the background as you experience the very thing you were made for. It’s the dance of a lifetime.

Don’t miss it.

Resources:

The Divine Dance by Shannon Kubiak Primicerio  You can win a copy of Shannon's book! To enter, share your thoughts on why you might feel compelled to perform. Just click on "comments" below! If you'd rather just win, just say "I'm in!"




An author of 10 books, Shannon Primicerio teaches teenage girls how to apply
the Bible to the drama of real life and read it like it's God's love letter to them.

Her books and conferences provide:
*Guidance and structure for how to have a daily quiet time
*Strategies for battling peer pressure in areas like dating, purity and friendship
*Insight on how to see yourself as the beautiful treasure you are
*Direction on how to find your purpose and live your passion for the glory of
God

You can learn more about Shannon at www.beingagirlbooks.com



An author of 10 books, Shannon Primicerio teaches teenage girls how to apply
the Bible to the drama of real life and read it like it's God's love letter to them.


Her books and conferences provide:
*Guidance and structure for how to have a daily quiet time
*Strategies for battling peer pressure in areas like dating, purity and friendship
*Insight on how to see yourself as the beautiful treasure you are
*Direction on how to find your purpose and live your passion for the glory of
God


You can learn more about Shannon at www.beingagirlbooks.com


Labels:



20 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am a people pleaser! So I'm In!
Lauren
Nc 12

Blogger Emma Marx said...

I feel compelled to preform, because it makes me feel good. It puts me in the spotlight and gives me the glory. But that is not what God wants He wants to get the glory THROUGH me.
Emma
Cary, NC
13

Blogger Christine G. said...

I'm in! Thanks for a realistic and helpful blog!

Anonymous Lara's Laugh Lines said...

"I'M IN!!"
Being a people pleaser means it's difficult for me to stop here and not take a half hour thinking up that "just-right-witty-comment-in case-I win& you reprint it" comment. Well, I'm not even going to copy & paste this into a word document before I send it. However, I will proof-read it,but only once! <3

Blogger Lynn Cowell said...

Emma,
Thanks so much for your honesty! It does feel good to have approval. The bad thing is we can't always control when people will or will not approve of us and that puts us on a rollar coaster.
So glad you see God wants you to live for His approval alone!
Lynn

Blogger Lynn Cowell said...

Christine,
So glad you liked Shannon's thoughts. We'll have to have her as a guest blogger again soon!
Lynn

Blogger Lynn Cowell said...

Laura,
There is a lot of freedom in just being yourself and not having to worry about just getting it right. Continue to ask Jesus to give you His freedom!
Happy Tuesday,
Lynn

Blogger Kim said...

I'm in for my kids. I have 6, and so far 4 are major people pleasers. I want them to know that pleasing God is the only thing that is important. It's also a good lesson for mom. :)

Anonymous Shannon Primicerio said...

Hi, girls! I'm so glad so many of you can relate to my post. I totally get what you are saying about reading and re-reading comments before posting them. I can get caught in that trap too--especially with my Facebook status. My prayer for each of you is that you learn to truly dance for the Audience of One!

Anonymous Jess R. said...

Being a people pleaser means that I've had to stop reading through everbody else's comments to make sure mine sounds right. I'm definitely IN!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great post! love this devotion!

Blogger Lauren said...

I'm In!! Great post, thanks very much for this!
Lauren
Age 16

Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is sooooo convicting for me personally. I am a people pleaser and that is not what God has for me. I long to be loved, pursued, cherished and I look for that from people a lot of the time rather than the One who has and is pursuing me and calling me...the One who died for me. I'm in.
Kari, CA
15

I am diffidently a people pleaser! Thank you for this post! I am so in :) Brittany Lynn, Broken Arrow, Ok

Anonymous Hannah said...

I am such a people pleaser. I try to do everything just so. I sometimes feel OCD as I try to do things just right!! I always have because I 've never felt good enough. I know this is a major fault of mine that I can't stop on my own. I need something to help me do that with godly wisdom, so like Emma said, I need to shy through me. I am sooooooo in. Hannah, 14, CO.

Anonymous Hannah said...

oh I totally messed up that last sentence. I need God to shine through me. Ugh, just had to fix that.

Anonymous Sue said...

I have been a "people pleaser" for most of my life. More recently, I've learned that the only One I need to please is my Heavenly Father, but I often forget to apply that to my life.

Anonymous Bailey said...

I'm in! I am a people pleaser. I used to call and get my friends approval for everything and this really showed me that I don't need her approval. The only approval I need is from the Lord!

Blogger Rose Jantzi said...

I am in!! Time and time again I am reminded that God is the person I want to live my life for! Thanks for the reminder :)

Rose

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I so identified with today's devotional...the cleaning the house when people are coming. I want everything in its place, to look like we (me and my family)have it all together. It is a show - we are all a work in progress! I am learning who I am and who God's expects for me to be. I'm In!

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